


31 Uses of (Half) Devil Cum

by TehRevving



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Anthology Collection, F/M, M/M, Other, cum, semen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:07:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 7,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TehRevving/pseuds/TehRevving
Summary: Devil Cum is a wonderful, strange and miraculous fluid with a variety of different applications. Some of these applications are super useful, while others are just plain ridiculous.Let's explore them throughout October 2020
Relationships: Dante (Devil May Cry)/Reader, Dante (Devil May Cry)/You, Vergil (Devil May Cry)/Reader, Vergil (Devil May Cry)/You
Comments: 100
Kudos: 255





	1. Face Mask

**Author's Note:**

> It's Cumtober..... or something I dunno.  
> I'm gonna try do one of these a day, I probably won't make it every day but I'm gonna try my best.  
> This is gonna be an anthology of small snippits about all of the various uses of Devil Cum. I'm intending to feature Dante, Vergil and Nero, on their own or with a reader character depending on the prompt.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Neutral Reader. Cum Facial

Monthly hormone changes were just the worst. Even though your birth control helped manage many of the normal symptoms, you still were unable to avoid those monthly breakouts. You were supposed to run an important event and give a presentation at work in the afternoon, but of course you’d woken up this morning with a huge fucking breakout on your face. 

You were standing next to the mirror, poking and prodding at the raised, reddened skin in the mirror when Dante walked in on you. 

“Stop touching it Babe,” he says, “you’ll just make it worse.”

You sigh and turn to him irritated, “helpful advice coming from you. Not all of us have flawless inhuman skin.”

He leans over and presses a kiss to your forehead while you pout and mumble. “I wish I could make a face mask or something out of your good genes.”

He pulls away from you, looks at you for a moment and then winks. “We can try that,” he smirks, waggling his eyebrows. 

It takes a moment for you to work out what he’s implying and you punch him gently in the shoulder in retaliation. You think about it for a moment though and decide that you really don’t have anything to lose. 

“So how long do you think I should leave this on for?” you sigh, lying on your back on the bed with your face sticky and warm. Dante is sprawled on his back beside you, busy panting in his post orgasmic haze. 

It takes a few moments before he rolls over, his large hand moving to open your thighs. He grins, his voice coming out in a growl, “until I’ve had enough of you.”

A few hours later, when Dante helps you step out of the shower because your legs are still shaking slightly, he has a shit eating grin on his face. You wipe the fog from the mirror with your towel and when you finally focus on your reflection you realise that your breakout has disappeared. You could just fucking scream.


	2. Superglue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vergil x Reader. Edging, Pegging and a Cockring.

Vergil was beautiful like this, for the few moments it took until he recovered anyway. He was ethereal, lying on his back blissed out and overstimulated. He’d been fairly well behaved tonight and it had definitely paid off. You’d stuffed his thick cock inside your favourite cockring and then proceeded to edge him for an hour, watching as he grew more and more desperate, whining and shifting frantically against the sheets. 

Then you’d pegged him while he begged for your touch. You fucked him roughly, dragging the tip of your strap roughly against and against over his prostate until finally, with the ring still on, he’d spurted untouched in thick pulses all over his chest and cock. 

Even after a few hours of rough sex, he needs only a few moments to recover before he’s ready to go again. He uses his superhuman speed because he’s desperate to have his fill of you. Ripping off the cockring and pinning you down to the bed. 

The next morning, you awake to a strange lump pressing against your back. You groan and try to move it, but it just pulls on the sheets. Vergil notices that you’re squirming and sits up to try and help you with whatever is wrong. 

You turn, lifting up the covers to check exactly what’s going on, and then realise that you can’t. You tug harder and just hear the slight sound of straining fabric. “Vergil,” you say, struggling to hold back laughter, “you’ve superglued the cockring to the sheets and the blanket."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....I'm sure that if you just put the sheets through a hot wash that they'll unstick themselves...... that cockring is probably gonna be a melted puddle though.


	3. Ceiling Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Neutral Reader. No Warnings

Dante had never visited your parent’s house before, the childhood home where you grew up. He’d been taken by the old band posters still adorning the walls of your room and the old pictures of you with friends from highschool and university complete with ridiculously dated outfits. He loved it, combed through every damn inch of the room because it gave him a glimpse of a side of you that he hadn’t gotten to know before. 

He’d been most taken with the collection of glow in the dark stars, marine creatures and spaceships that adorned the ceiling just above your bed. He’d been in awe of them when you’d turned the light off and you had to admit that his occasional child-like excitement was sometimes endearing. 

He’d called you up to the bedroom about a week later, sounding incredibly pleased with himself. 

“So Babe,” he’d said as you walked through the door, motioning for you to shut it behind you. “I bought some of those glow in the dark stickers. I thought I’d put them up and surprise you with them. I even got a blacklight too to maximise the effect, I decided to test it out first and well uh. It turns out we don’t actually need to put any stickers up.”

He flicked the light switch next to the bed and turned on the black light and you slowly turned to look up at the ceiling. 

The whole ceiling practically glowed white. Thick trails snaked across the ceiling, clumping and dripping in some areas and heavily concentrated about ¾ of the way down the bed. It takes you a moment to work out what you’re actually looking at. 

“Fuck Dante that’s disgusting,” you sigh, turning around and opening the door. “How do you even manage to get that much on the ceiling I swear to God. You better clean all of that up or I’m not sleeping in here again.”

You leave him laughing hysterically in the centre of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My childhood bedroom is literally covered in these, so when we moved out my bf thought he would be nice and put some up in our new bedroom. Which was great, until we moved out and they took all the paint off the ceiling so we had to pay to get the ceiling repainted >_<.


	4. Spot Cleaner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Neutral Reader. Bareback Sex.

You knew you shouldn’t have absolutely devoured that entire block of chocolate on the couch. You could have at least kept it in the packaging, instead of just ripping at the thing like a damn animal. 

The couch hadn’t fared particularly well from your feast, covered in small dark dots of chocolate that had been melted and smooshed into the fibres by your body heat. You sighed and idly picked at one of the spots with your nail, knowing there wasn’t that much use in trying to clean up and that Dante wouldn’t really care about the state of his couch either. 

Your mind momentarily flicked back to that moment later, as you lay back on that very same couch while Dante enthusiastically took his fill of you. You thought about how you were lying on melted chocolate, and the rough movements of your own body and his insane body heat were probably just grinding the mess even further into the couch. 

His sweaty hair tickled against your chest as he lay his head against you, breathing heavily in the afterglow and nuzzling against your neck as he carefully pulled out of you. He refused to let you get up, pinning you down and grumbling against your skin as he held you and you felt his release slowly start to trickle from you and onto the couch. 

The next day you did go and buy some reasonable cleaning products, intending to fix up your mess. As you looked over the couch though, you couldn’t find any stains where you’d been sitting. In fact the cushion looked ridiculously clean. Where you’d been sitting and getting railed yesterday was clean looking, which was surprising because you knew Dante would have given it only a cursory wipe over with his dirty shirt once you were done with it. You looked at the cushion that you weren’t railed over the day before, finding it stained with chocolate and various other things. 

You sighed, of course his fucking cum was a stain remover.


	5. Ukon (Hangover Cure)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Reader. Lipstick. Drinking.

Dante was whining, practically thrusting his straining crotch into your field of vision while you added the finishing touches to your makeup. You were going out tonight, just to a friend’s and you intended to have fun, it had been a while since you’d been able to let go. Dante had agreed to go with you but he’d been acting strange since he got back from the job he’d done today. 

You turned to him, brand new smudge proof red lipstick done immaculately and he whined once more. “Are you ready to go?” you asked him, a little bit fed up with him. 

He moved half a step back, “I told you,” he says, “those weird creatures sprayed me with something. I can’t help it.” He sighs, “if you’re happy for me to go like this,” he gestures to the utterly obscene bulge at his crotch. “Then I guess I’m ready.”

You sigh, Dante’s crotch was a difficult thing to deal with at the best of times. He was big and he liked wearing tight pants, it looked ridiculous at the best of times. Currently though, where the fabric of his pants is sticking out a good few inches from the rest of his body, well, you don’t really have any choice but test the staying power of your new lipstick. Much to his happiness. 

The next morning when you awoke, sleep deprived and with a crick in your neck from Dante trying to smoosh his big frame onto your friend’s couch with you, you didn’t feel terrible. Dehydrated yes, but not nauseous or ill like usual. 

Dante when he awoke, without a hangover of course - bastard - was actually surprised that you were actually coherent enough to speak to him. Usually the morning after a big night you’re begging for him to block out the sunlight with his wings, or worse.

You were still wondering about your strange lack of a hangover when your friend awoke about 20 minutes later, absolutely hungover as they moaned about getting hash browns and chicken nuggets for breakfast while Dante enthusiastically agreed.

You tried to think about what you’d done differently to a normal night out, when Dante got up, scratching at himself and practically parading his stupid crotch around as he made his way to the bathroom while your friend stared on with wide eyes when what you’d done differently hit you. 

Shit, of course he was a fucking hangover cure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ukon drink is this stuff you can buy in Japan that you have before you start drinking and apparently it prevents you from getting a hangover. I’ve personally never tried it myself, but a bunch of people say that it works so *shrug*


	6. Cologne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vergil x Reader

Somehow you’d managed to get to the office on time this morning. Vergil had been surprisingly insatiable when you’d returned to the bedroom after your shower and you could never refuse him. You had an important meeting today though, so while it took a little bit of convincing, you actually managed to get him to pull out at the last moment. You’d been mesmerized by the sight of him, jerking off above you, moaning your name as he finished all over your chest. You’d cleaned up with just a damp towel, not interested in having another shower and tried not to think about it too hard as you got dressed and headed into the office. 

You were dreading the presentation you had later and not just because presentations sucked. It wasn’t just that you had to give the presentation, but that you also had to think of answers to the barrage of useless questions you’d be subjected to at the end, because many of your specifically male coworkers seemed utterly unable to take your opinion seriously. Even though you were the expert in your field and highly qualified. 

Throughout the day though, surprisingly you started to notice that people were treating you differently. 

The asshole that sat at the desk next to yours, the one that would scoff and give you the stink eye when you sat down at your desk 2 minutes late, began his usual song and dance. When you turned towards him to wish him a polite and forced good morning, he almost immediately stopped. His expression changed and the glower stopped. It wasn’t just that though, later on in the day he’d even offered to grab your stuff from the printer on his way back from the break room. That was absolutely unheard of. 

If you didn’t spend 40 hours a week with these people, you wouldn’t have noticed the difference. But you certainly noticed that everyone was nicer to you, that the usual assholes seemed almost intimidated by you, bending over backwards to help you. You even noticed the almost dreamy look in the secretary’s eyes as they handed you a slice of brownie they were preparing for the shareholder’s meeting. Those brownies were normally never shared out. 

You weren’t totally sure what to expect, but you were pleasantly surprised when your meeting went amazingly later that day. Everyone in the room was focused on you and paying attention. Useful questions were actually asked in the middle of the presentation, and no one tried to interrupt you to mansplain your own fucking field of expertise to you. At the end of the presentation they’d all agreed with you, and decided to go ahead with the proposal. It was unbelievable. 

You had no idea what was actually going on, you were just wearing normal clothes and hadn’t done anything special. You were still trying to work out what had been different about today when you headed back to dmc later that evening. It was Dante that made an offhand remark about how you absolutely reeked of Vergil, and suddenly you realised what it was, why everyone had been intimidated by you. Of course. Shit, you wondered if Vergil would agree to becoming your new brand of cologne each day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..........I'm not projecting with this one........Not at all.........


	7. Bathroom Cleaner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Reader. No Warnings.

You kept your voice perfectly sweet as you cornered Dante at his desk. “Darling,” you said, elongating the syllables and you noticed him not so subtly looking around, trying to find an escape route and finding none. 

“It’s not that serious,” you say to reassure him, and he loosens up a little bit. “Your bathroom is disgraceful,” you say to him, “if I’m going to live here then you have to help clean it too, it’s not my job.”

He drops his shoulders, “What do you mean?”

You tilt your head, “what do you mean, what do you mean? When I first started coming over here, your shower and bathroom were pretty clean and now they’re not.”

“Yeah,” he says, “before they used to be white and now they aren’t. I don’t know why.”

You sit down on the edge of his desk, head in your hands. “Are you playing with me right now?”

He shakes his head.

“I don’t understand,” you say.

“Me neither. The only thing I’m doing differently in there is not jerking off twice a day anymore.”

“You used to jerk off into the toilet?”

“Less mess.”

You sighed and then thought about all of the stained white spots that had suddenly begun appearing on your sheets since he’d entered your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to struggle to end these a bit, like I wasn't doing an amazing job previously but like, how many times can I finish with a variation of "aaaand the answer was cum."???? Maybe I should pick a line and just finish every single one of these with it? Any suggestions? lol


	8. Conditioner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vergil x Reader.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Vergil,” you grumbled, raising your voice slightly as you inspected the damage. You weren’t really that angry at him, but you were still irritated. He’d known that you had to go out within the hour, when he’d asked for some relief. Of course you said yes, because not only was he utterly irresistible, but he was going out on a job for a few days, and you were going to miss him. 

Of course with the combination of his deft fingers and strong hips. His inhuman strength as he supported and contorted you into positions you didn’t think any pure human couple could achieve. As he took his own pleasure from you, taking you to new heights in the process. This time anyway, he’d left your face and hair practically pained with his release. 

“I’m sorry,” Vergil said as he walked into the bathroom, pants undone and without a shirt. “Let me help.” He held out his hand. 

You handed him the damp cloth that you were holding and he began gently cleaning the stringy remnants of his release from your hair. 

He pulled out every trick in the book to try and dissipate your anger. He stood close to you, so you could feel the overwhelming heat of him. His fingers a gentle press underneath your chin, on your cheek as he tilted your head to get better access while he ran the cloth gently across your scalp. 

At the end of the whole thing, you couldn’t possibly be angry at him anymore. 

It was a few days later, while he was still away, that you noticed your hair felt amazing. The strands were soft, smooth and laying perfectly across your face without any of their usual frizziness or temperament. There was only one thing you could think of, that had changed in your hair routine the past few days. 

The effect had begun to fade by the time he returned, but you’d asked out of morbid curiosity for him to make a mess of you again. For research purposes of course.


	9. Painkiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Reader. Period Pain. Period Sex.

“Is there anything I can do Babe?” Dante asked while running his large warm hand up and down your back.

You were currently curled up on the bed, heat pack pressed against your front while you struggled through the waves of pain and nausea that came with your time of the month. 

Dante looked lost, he hated seeing you in pain, but he didn’t know what to do. He decided to climb into bed, situating himself behind you. He carefully took away your heat pack, replacing it with broad, warm strokes of his hand while he peppered kisses against the back of his neck. 

The gentle and warm press of him against your back, coupled with the soft cadence of his breathing, just having him near you made some of the pain abate. You were able to loosen up from the tight fetal position you’d been curled in for hours, and as you stretched out, even your nausea started to fade too. 

“You’re amazing,” you murmur softly, almost unable to believe how much better you feel. 

He chuckles softly against your ear, “if you’re up for it. I hear that orgasms are excellent for relieving this sort of pain.”

“It’ll be messy,” you mumble against your pillow.

“I don’t care.”

“Can we put a towel down anyway?”

“Of course.”

Dante made love to you. He took you carefully, gently. Spooning you against his body, keeping a warm hand pressed over your stomach. He let the heat build slowly inside of you, washing away the pain and the cramps until it was replaced with wonderful, cascading waves of pleasure. He used his hand on your front to carefully control the movement of your hips, making you quake in his arms while he breathed heavy sighs and shudders against the back of your neck. 

You felt so much better by the time you’d both finished, and basked in the afterglow for way too long. It wasn’t just that the pain had numbed, it was more like it had entirely disappeared, along with the cramping, bloatedness and just general uncomfortableness you were used to. 

He took you again under the spray of the shower to clean up and holy shit you felt absolutely fantastic for the rest of the day, for the rest of your period in fact. You were definitely going to use him as pain relief next time.


	10. Wax Strips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Reader

Dante was always insatiable when he returned after an overnight job and tonight was no different. He’d been out for a few days, getting rid of the infestation had taken a little bit longer than he’d initially expected. He’d gotten back late at night, and was absolutely exhausted but not so exhausted that he didn’t intend to have his wicked way with you of course. 

You could see the dark bags under his eyes and noticed the slight sluggishness in his movements, but he still satisfied you like no other. It had been a few days since he’d had you last, so he prepared you like a true gentleman, making you come over and over on his thick fingers while he growled dirty words into your ear. He’d been a little bit too thorough, and you were exhausted too by the time he’d taken his fill, spilling his seed deep inside you. 

He wasn’t satisfied though with just one though, even though he could tell you were done. The night finished with him jerking off all over your chest, and then passing out on top of you. He was too heavy for you to move, so you just ended up squirming around underneath him until you were comfortable and then fell asleep too. 

You were woken up by Dante’s frantic voice, murmuring your name over and over. 

You opened your eyes, aware that he was in distress but still half asleep. “What?” you mumble, cracking your eyes open. 

He looks frantic, holding himself up on his arms above you. “Babe, I’m stuck,” he says lifting himself up and you feel a definite pull against your skin.

You make a move to sit up, to try and clear your head of sleep and work out what’s going on. Dante yelps in pain as you move and you start to connect the dots. 

His body is stuck to your skin, from just under his pecs down to the top of his hips. Moving doesn’t really hurt you, because you don’t have much body hair, but he’s practically a woolly mammoth underneath his shirt.

“What do I do?” he asks frantically. 

“You’re just gonna have to get it over with. Rip the bandaid off” you say, because there’s nothing really you can do.

“Shit.”

“Come on, you get impaled on a regular basis, surely this won’t be as bad.” 

He winces and puts his hands on your shoulders. He braces himself carefully and then pulls up. The high pitch of his screams echo through the office, muffling the sound of hair being ripped out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They did this with superglue in one of the Jackasses and it's just as awful as it sounds. I feel so bad for Dante.


	11. Candle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Reader. No Warnings

You were pretty sure these bathroom cupboards had never been cleaned. You had to wipe off years worth of dark coloured slime before you were even able to make out what some of the bottles you found contained. 

Right at the back you found a surprisingly well preserved candle in a jar. You were surprised and unscrewed it against your better judgement. The scent of it was surprisingly pleasant and you should have thrown it in the bin, but there was just something about the scent of it, that made you keep it. 

A few days later, you were lounging in the bath and rewarding yourself for all of the hard work you’d done cleaning the past few days. You really should have forced Dante to do it, but you just knew that if you had, he wouldn’t have done a good job of it anyway. 

You lit the candle you’d found as you lounged back in the water. The scent of it was interesting, alluring, slightly sweet and heady with hints of musk. The scent was relaxing, lulling you deeper into the warm water. 

You’d slid almost all of the way in when you heard Dante open the bathroom door. 

He sniffed the air, “what’s that candle Babe?”

“Dunno,” you shrug, “I found it in the cupboard the other day.”

Dante tilted his head and thought for a moment, and then his jaw dropped. “I’d forgotten about that.”

“About what?”

“Well, years ago I was bored and read about a way to attract succubi.”

“With a candle?”

“A special candle made out of devil fluids.”

You sighed, “you made a cum candle? And you just left it in the cupboard. For years?”

“Yup.”

You shook your head, “why am I not surprised?”

He walked closer to you, bending down beside the tub, smirking. “It worked though didn’t it? It took a little bit longer than I expected, but now there’s an irresistible seductress trapped with no escape right in front of me.”

You splashed him with the water while laughing and then pulled him into a kiss. His humour might be annoying sometimes, but you really wouldn’t have him any other way.


	12. Drain Cleaner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Reader. No Warnings.

“God Damnit,” you exclaim, watching as hair-dye coloured water rises up from the bottom of the shower. The drain was clogged again. You sighed. You’d asked Dante to properly deal with it last time, but he’d obviously done a half assed job of it, hence it was clogged again.

You finished your shower as quickly as possible because you didn’t want to flood the bathroom and ended up rinsing out your hair over the sink.

You marched downstairs to find Dante napping at his desk as usual, and you snapped your fingers in front of his face until he woke up.

“The shower drain is clogged again,” you tell him sternly.

“Don’t you worry, I’m right on it Babe,” he says cheerfully, moving to get up.

“No,” you say and put your hand on his arm to stop him. “I asked you to do it properly last time and obviously you didn’t. You’re going to show me how you think you unclog a drain, and then I’m going to show you how to do it properly.”

He grins widely, a very strange expression to have considering what you’ve asked him to do. “Jackpot,” he says and you’re confused as you follow him up the stairs.

He walks over to look at the shower, which has drained a decent amount since you last left it. He looks at it for a moment and then starts unbuttoning his pants.

“What are you doing?” you snap at him when you notice.

“Unclogging the drain,” he says matter of factly like you’re the idiot.

“By doing what?”

“Jerking off into it of course.”

“Dante, what the actual fuck,” you say in disbelief.

“Look, it sounds crazy but it works. The drain never clogged when I was jerking off in the shower every day. It’s only acting up because I don’t need to do that very much anymore,” he winks, “because I have you.”

……You hit him over the head with the bottle of drain cleaner.


	13. Hair Gel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante and Vergil. No Pairings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just completely cursed I'm so sorry.

It was April fools day. A day that Dante very much enjoyed. He’d thought of the perfect prank this year, with his brother now living in the office with him and all. The prank was so perfect in fact, that he was struggling to keep a straight face. 

He knew he shouldn’t have done it, was sure that he was just going to end up impaled or worse. The story would be worth it though. He hoped Vergil would see the humour in his actions, though he was pretty sure that he wouldn’t. It’s not like what he’d done was actually as gross as it sounded, they were identical twins after all. 

When Vergil walked down the stairs on that fateful morning, Dante was already waiting at the bottom. Which was surprising in itself of course. Vergil just ignored him, as he usually did and made his way into the kitchen. 

Dante was struggling to keep a straight face and just couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

“Hey Vergil,” he called. 

His brother just grunted in response. 

“Anything different about your hair gel this morning?”

Vergi turned to look at him, a typical Vergil expression on his face. “What are you talking about.”

“April Fools,” Dante grinned, unable to contain himself as he burst into laughter. 

Vergil was next to him in an instant, a look of utter disdain on his face. “What did you do brother?”

Vergil ran his hand through his hair, and then brought it up to his face. Inspecting the white substance on his hand. 

Nothing was said but Dante didn’t even have time to blink before he was immediately impaled through the chest by multiple summoned swords.


	14. Dishwashing Liquid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vergil. Warning for a Dishwasher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea came from a conversation that can be summed up as follows:  
> “But how do we get Vergil to accidentally come in the sink?”  
> “Well, there’s already one Sync that he likes coming in”  
> ...And now we’re here

Synchronmurmurs was getting fucked. Vergil had her laid across her kitchen table, paperwork, placemats and the dishes from tonight’s dinner strewn across the room from his haste to have her. He had swept his arm across the table, throwing things to the floor to make room. Dinner had started innocently enough, but then she’d opened that delectably pretty mouth of hers and said something that triggered that primal part of his brain. He couldn’t even remember what it was, only that it had stoked a deep fire within him.

He’d shredded the jeans that she’d been wearing and he thinks that he’d also managed to rip the stitching on the fly of his own pants. She was such a slut for him, all it took was a few growls deep within his throat, to show off his strength, use it on her, and she was dripping wet and desperate for him. She was used to his cock, so fucking fantastic at taking it. All it took was for him to say her name right by her ear in his nasally voice to have her writhing her hips and practically trying to vacuum his cock inside her. 

Today had been no different of course, she was just as unable to resist the primal urges swirling through his head as he was. He fucked her desperately, his powerful thrusts scraping her dining table precariously across the floor. She was crying out for him, digging nails into his back and egging him on. 

He wanted to hold out, he really did, but she was too alluring, too desperate for him and he couldn’t hold on. It didn’t really matter though because he could just take her again and again, all night if he so desired. He smirked and leaned over her, crowding her body with his. 

“Are you close?” he murmurs by her ear. “Because I am. Gonna fill you up. You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

She bites down on his shoulder. 

“Come deep inside of you. Fill you until you’re bulging with my seed.”

His words cause her to spasm and as he presses skillful fingers to her clit she begins to come around him. He groans, tendons at his neck straining as he pulls out of her. It takes more determination than it should. It’s all well and good to dirty talk about that sort of thing, but every single time it does it makes it more and more difficult to pull away. 

He pulls away and falls back into the seat dining chair behind him. His legs are shaking, he should have more stamina than that. He let’s her recover, stroking her thigh gently while the bucks her hips through the aftershocks and whimpers. 

After a few minutes, when she’s sighing at the absolute mess he’s made of her dining room, and the absolutely huge release that’s covering her stomach and chest. Vergil looks a little bit sheepish and it just makes her heart swell for him more. 

She limps over to the kitchen sink. It’s filled with a small amount of water, with a few dishes stacked up soaking in it. She has an irrational fear of dishwashers you see, and doesn’t use them even though she has one sitting right there in her kitchen right next to the sink. 

She just uses one of the kitchen towels to wipe herself off, and then the hand soap to wash her hands of the sticky mess. She throws the towel in the sink, intending to deal with it later.

Later of course turns out to be tomorrow afternoon, because of course Vergil wasn’t satisfied and took her upstairs and had her over and over again and then again in the morning. It took multiple insistent and increasingly angry phone calls from Dante to eventually get him to reluctantly leave her bed and head to the office. 

She takes a look at the sink, removing the cum-dirtied towel from the top of it. She notices that the dishes now seem clean. Where the bowls were once streaked with the dried up remnants of food, they’re now spotlessly white, shining even. 

Every single plate and fork that was in the sink is the same, spotlessly clean. She rinses them under the tap anyway. She’s amazed but ultimately not fucking surprised. Those Sparda boys literally have cheat codes on in real life with some of the ways their bodies just do things that make life so much easier. 

She thinks now that at least when her friends have a go at her for her irrational choice not to use a dishwasher, she can brag that she doesn’t need one. All she needs is for her boyfriend to ejaculate on the dirty dishes in the sink.


	15. Hair Dye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vergil x Reader. No Warnings

It was almost summer and you were excited. You loved the warmth of the sun and the way that everyone around you just seemed happier when the sun was out. You loved all of the festivals and events, the popup food stalls and bars. Just everything about it. The weather getting warmer meant that beach season was coming up, so it was time for a trip to the salon for your annual-ish bikini wax. 

Anyway, it had been about 6 months since you’d started dating and sleeping with Vergil and your life was much better for it. He was wonderful, if not a little bit misunderstood at times. The sex was amazing, probably too amazing in fact. The two of you went at it practically like rabbits and well, after confirming that your birth control worked with him, you went raw almost every time. He loved to come deep inside of you, groaning into your neck as he spilled himself within your willing heat. He loved watching it drip out of you, playing with it and pushing it back in. He also liked to pull out though and make an absolute mess of your skin with his come. 

Planning to go to the salon of course, meant that you had to allow your downstairs hair to grow out. You tended to just keep it trimmed, because it was easier to manage. It took a few days of growing it out, before you noticed something wasn’t quite right. 

At first you just thought the hair was growing strangely patchy. As you looked closer though, you noticed that some parts of your hair were dark, others were lighter and then some were non-existent. As a few days passed, you noticed that some of your hair was bleached almost white. It was more prominent around your hole and at the top of your mound where Vergil would usually make a mess of you when he pulled out. 

It wasn’t difficult to put the pieces together, that your boyfriend’s not quite human tendencies were probably the cause. You had no idea what you were going to tell your beauty therapist though, not sure if you could actually face them. So you bought some wax strips instead and struggled through it yourself, cursing your stupid half-devil boyfriend the whole time.


	16. Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dante x Reader. No Warnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to dedicate this one to Socom911, because I know they are absolutely going to be freaking in the comments.

Dante did worry about your safety. Even though the shop was covered in the scent of powerful devils that tended to keep the weaker, wild ones at bay. There was still the occasional invasion of stronger creatures that wanted to fight the Sons of Sparda, or try to kidnap their mates. It never worked in their favour though.

There were powerful guns in your bedside drawers just in case, weapons hidden beneath the bed too. You knew how to use them. You were also capable of performing a pretty scary demonic growl that tended to put the weaker ones right in their place, courtesy of being mated with one of the most powerful creatures in existence. 

Dante and Vergil were out for the night, so it was just you alone in the office. That wasn’t a problem and happened fairly often. 

You were sitting in bed with just the lamp on, reading a book and just about to turn in for the night when you heard it. The sound of someone walking up the stairs. They were creaking loudly, like something heavy was lumbering up them. You weren’t expecting Dante or Vergil home, so you immediately swung into action. 

You grabbed the gun from your bedside table and then leapt to the floor on the side of the bed away from the door. So you would be hidden from the intruder. 

You reached underneath the bed to grab one of the swords you knew was there. The hilt had a strange texture but it was heavy and rigid, so you just went with it. You tucked the gun into your waistband as you held the sword ready. Your plan was to try and intimidate whatever it was with a growl and use the gun only as a last resort. 

The door opened and you held your breath, waiting.

“Babe?” you heard and immediately breathed a sigh of relief, standing up from your crouched position on the floor. 

“I wasn’t expecting you home,” you said, still holding your weapon. 

“Yeah, everything went to shit and I gave up. I missed you,” he trails off. “What are you holding?”

“One of the weapons from under the bed, I thought you might be an intruder so I prepared. Aren’t you proud of me?” You grinned, grabbing the gun and aiming it at him. “Cause if you’re not I”ll shoot.”

He laughed, “that’s not a weapon though.”

You turned to look at what you were holding. It’s a sock, a long sock, that for some reason is solid, straight and heavy, filled up with something dry and flakey. 

“What the fuck?” You turn it over in your hands.

You lean in closer and smell it. The scent of course is absolutely unmistakable.

You walk around the bed, gun still trained on Dante while he stands still and watches you. You don’t give him a chance to explain, walking over and smacking him in the back of his head with his disgusting old cum sock.


	17. Beauty Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I’m still going with these. I’m gonna keep writing until I get to 31, however long it takes. I’ve just started a new job so I’m still getting used to my new schedule, but don’t worry. Cumtober isn’t over yet. 
> 
> God this one is meh. It’s so hard to introduce multiple generic characters lol. Oh well

“Bitch you look fantastic, the fuck have you been doing recently?” exclaims your wonderful and eccentric best friend when you catch up for the first time in months. They’ve been working a lot lately and your catch up is long overdue. You compliment them as well, and sit down to chat over brunch. 

“I’m serious,” they reiterate as the conversation slowly comes back around. “You look incredible, your teeth are so white, your skin is radiant and you look healthier, more athletic.”

Your friend is typically pretty frank and straightforward, so you know it’s genuine praise. “I’ve not changed anything,” you respond, “except for moving in with my boyfriend. I’d say my general routine is worse than it was before though, because he doesn’t understand the concept of nutrition or a regular sleep schedule.”

Your friend laughs and then winks, “then maybe it’s all the extra hookey I’m sure you’re getting.”

You laugh it off of course, but the thought stays with you. 

It’s still simmering in the back of your mind when you make it back to the office in the afternoon. You absolutely did not expect that sight that met you when you walked in. Of Vergil napping on the couch, curled up in his boyfriend’s lap with [Winston](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27070306) sleeping beside them. You laughed silently at the quiet finger on lips expression Vergil’s boyfriend gave you as you walked in.

You were just going to sneak around them and get changed, but instead you take a closer look. You couldn’t really remember what they’d looked like before they’d moved into the office with Vergil, but now that you look at them, you can see the white teeth, clear skin and leaner build that your friend had pointed out. 

You approached them about it later, while the boys were off fighting over something mundane. The more that the two of you discussed it, the more you realised that there was only one inevitable conclusion. 

The next time that you saw Kyrie, the both of you scrutinised her of course, as subtly as you could. Now that you knew what to look for, you noticed that she was the same. What you had just assumed was her own natural beauty and radiance, was maybe something more. 

When the both of you approached her about it later, after a few drinks. She’d just laughed, had a laughing fit actually. She explained through tears of laughter that of course there were changes. It was in the Fortunan scriptures, that the fluids of Sparda and his descendents had miraculous effects on humans. She was surprised that it had taken the two of you so long to work out, and sent you home with a copy of the Fortunan scriptures, to study of course. 


	18. Blue Tack

It had been long enough, but you were finally moving into the office to live permanently. You already basically lived there anyway, you had an entire dresser in Dante’s bedroom, but now it was official. It had just been the most obvious choice, to not renew your lease when it expired. 

You were rearranging the bedroom, well Dante was rearranging the bedroom. Using his strength to show off as he moved the furniture around so that your own stuff would fit. He kept picking up the bookcase, which was about as tall as him, with just one hand, and moving it ever so slightly, just to distract you from your train of thought. 

He had even agreed to let you take down some of the more, unsightly posters that were up on the walls. The ones of scantily clad women in provocative poses. You didn’t really mind them, but you’d prefer for them not to be there. 

You were finding though, that they were thoroughly glued to the wall. You’d figured they were just bluetacked up, but there was nothing of the sort. They were flush with the walls and the paint, you couldn’t even get your nail underneath the corner to start getting them off. 

“The fuck did you use to put these up Babe?” you asked him, giving up and looking around the room for something you could use to scrape them off the walls. 

“Nothin’,” he says, “I just put them on the walls and they stuck.”

And as you were suddenly struck with the horrifying image of what the room had looked like underneath a blacklight that one time. You realised that you were never going to be able to get the posters off the walls.


	19. Devil Repellent

This was the seventh! cockroach that you’d found scurrying around the kitchen this week, and you were sick of it. Six times you’d asked Dante to call an exterminator and as expected, he’d done absolutely nothing. So this time you walked over to his desk, sat down in front of him, and refused to let him nap, read or get anything done until he sorted it out for you. 

“I don’t know what to tell you doll. I don’t know any exterminators, apart from myself. I dunno who to call.”

“Stop bullshiting me Dante,” you chided him. “I know you know somebody because of all the pesticide around the outside edges of the building, it’s been done recently enough.”

He throws his arms up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Show me.”

You take him around the back of the building, pointing out the small lines of discoloured brick on the outside edges of the wall. “Exterminators, they spray something around the edges of the building that kills the bugs.”

Dante laughs, “oh, that’s not what that is. If anything it probably attracts bugs.”

You stare at him unimpressed. 

“That’s lesser devil repellent. Stops the small fry from trying to get into the building.”

“And what’s it made out of?”

“Oh Sweetheart,” he grins, “you really don't wanna know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But we all know what it's made out of *winky face*

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos Loved  
> Got any ideas for how you would use Devil Cum??? Let me know  
> Come follow me on [Tumblr](https://tehrevving.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tehrevving) as TehRevving


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